I’m rocking four month old Nico as I write this. He’s just eaten and has fallen asleep in my arms after having a sore belly and spitting up.
You’d think that after eight grandchildren I’d be better at this.
The feelings of love, fulfillment and gratitude don’t change; if anything they become more profound, more layered as with each birth my role keeps changing and deepening until now I’m aware, with this beautiful child in my arms, that with his arrival I have succeeded my own father as patriarch and am now the “head” of a tribe of 16.
This awareness just came to me as I hold him like I did his sister and his six cousins.
What are my duties and privileges in this role that most recently I’ve become aware of? I raise this question after having just wiped some schmutz from the folds of Nico’s neck. I suppose that is one of the duties; the main role I think I should play is that of best supporting actor and coordinator for and to each of the three nuclear families that come together into my patriarchy, helping where help is appropriate, being cautious to always respect my subordinate role as supporter, advisor but not as primary actor.
Trying to enhance and encourage strong familial ties between this new generation within my patriarchy is a major function. Physical, emotional and sometimes financial support are all part of the job description.
And… also, as much as I don’t like to think of it, I must be prepared to turn my duties over to my successor, the matriarch in waiting. I must help her to understand and internalize her role as the glue that holds the family together generation to generation and to prepare her own successor as our triad of nuclear families expands in an exponential fashion, pulling away from its nucleus. As I write this her successor, her brother’s son is now ten years old, the elder grandson, and one who already displays the character and traits – even at that young age – to be a successor to his aunt, the matriarch in waiting.